Would the DHS investigate this situation? My sister is so scared..?
My sister, her husband and I took their two year old and my one year old to get our pictures make. Her son was being CRAZY running around, getting into filing cabinets, running out of the studio area and into the store it was attacted to, telling us to shutup, just really really acting up, and we were all about to go crazy. Her husband took him in the bathroom and spanked him, over his diaper and pants. My sister was trying to fix his hair for his picture and he threw himself over on the couch and messed it all up and was just acting horrible, and she swatted him on the butt or outer thigh a couple of times with her brush(Not at ALL hard, just enough to get his attention) Later, he was acting up again, and his dad took him back to the bathroom and spanked him again, again over the pants and diaper. And my sister smacked his leg and hand once for telling her to shut up and for running away from her again. This was over a three hour time period and very stressful day. He wasn’t hurt other than his feelings and there was not a single mark left on him anywhere.. he wasn’t even red. Well, there was a service lady that worked at the store the photo studio was in and she happened to be around when his dad spanked him the second time and was giving us funny looks. A few minutes later she came through and asked about his name and when he was born, saying he was about the age of her grandson. My sister is scared to death that she called the CPS on her and her husband. She didn’t really do anything wrong, but the laws are so strict these days, it’s hard to know. Do you think they would come out to her house over this? (She has nothing to hide if they did) There was a video camera in the studio and they could probably see what happened. She’s been upset and crying all night. You could hear him being spanked, but it was in a quiet, very large bathroom so it echoed and made it sound so much worse than it was. If they do investigate, what could happen? We live in Tennessee.. If you have any questions, please check.. I’ll answer anything. Thanks.
Guys, please don’t assume they are bad parents. They are doing the very best they can. They have been through time out, they try and distract him with toys or something else, they try stern talking, they’ve tried just making him sit still.. everything. He is a VERY active and curious child. He’s extremely smart and wants to be in everything. The "shutup" isn’t good, but his mom started that when he was little by saying "You shutup, your momma gonna get you" in a very cute, playful way, but he’s learned that it can be a serious word, too. They aren’t bad parents.. everything thinks they are good parents and everyone comments on how their son is like three rolled into one kid.. They’re doing the best they can.
first of all they are not bad parents for doing that. they were actually doing what they needed to. what state do you live in. if she did call they will come over see that every thing is good and drop the case. they hardly ever just take the kids away. i have had cps called on me for false stuff some one got mad at me and said i starved my kid when they came they said wow we have never seen a kid so healthy. they dropped the case. so do not worry every thing will be ok. if you need to talk more email me•
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November 9th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
um….its NOT good to discipline children like that in public (i dont believe in it at all….but thats just my own opinion.)…..from what it sounds like theres probobly a good chance that the woman called CPS, but if she has nothing to hide, there should be no issues if any social workers show up at the house.
tell her not to worry. even if ppl come to her house, it is EXTREMELY difficult to remove children from their homes….trust me. im a psychology student…we study this stuff……….there need to be SIGNIFICANT damage done to the child for he or she to be taken from their parents.
im not going to push my own beliefs on you, but i would advise her not to do this again. there are other ways to discipline children……from this experience you can see that by hitting him, you only caused more problems…..
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November 9th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Yes, they could. In many states, hitting a child with an object, such as her brush, is never ok. Spanking a child multiple times seems excessive as well. Not to mention, I’m wondering where a two year old learned to say "shut up"? That said, its fairly unlikely that CPS would remove him if there are no marks or other indicators of abuse. It sounds like spanking is clearly not working for their child, and I wouldn’t be surprised if CPS required some parenting classes. Even if they don’t, it might be a good idea for her and her husband to seek some out on their own. Not only would it give them techniques to avoid this in the future, but if they can’t discipline him at 2, I hate to think about what might happen in a few years when he gets a little older without some classes for them. -Neb
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November 9th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
There is always a possibility that CPS will investigate it. But quite frankly there usually has to be more than one person that is aware, and CPS will call her if anything! I STRONGLY doubt that if they were just spanking him anything will happen!! Best of Luck, and tell her not too overly worry. The lady was probably just making small talk, and if CPS does call, tell her not to act anxious, they will most likely just ask for phone numbers of friends, family, doctors, etc. And they typically have much more serious cases that they are concerned with!! You would be suprised how many cases of parents spanking their children they get, and they typically dont look much into those!! Best of Luck!!
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November 9th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I don’t know if the woman called CPS or not. But it sounds like she might have.
I personally don’t agree with the child’s behaviour but I also don’t agree with the fact that your sister spanked him with her brush. Sounds like to me the child was feeling very overwhelmed from being in public with so many restrictions laid on him.
That is no excuse for the bad behaviour but I also don’t agree with the spanking. A child that is acting out that badly probably will not benefit from the physical punishment.
I learned in behaviour parenting classes that spanking a child is not the answer. That child should have not have been expected to sit there for 3 hours waiting to have his picture taken. Being expected to not mess up his hair, his clothes, sit still, be quiet, etc. is a very hard thing to expect from a 2 yr old.
2 yr olds are always on the go. It is a big world out there and they are ultra curious. Bringing toys along would have probably helped or some one on one time out time from the monotony of waiting by walking around the store, going outside and running, being allowed to be a 2 yr old.
As far as the CPS, like one of the people that answered this question said, if she has something to hide, or something that is not being told here, then yes she should be worried. But if not, then tell her don’t be worried.
The most the CPS would do is either close the case on grounds of no evidence or she would recommend some parenting classes for both parents. Which CPS or no CPS, all parents could use some help from others that have been through this or a professional that can identify the problem and quickly rectify the matter.
Good luck and talk to your sister about signing up for some parenting skill classes, it might help her next time she has to put her son in that kind of situation.
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November 9th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
i think it is ridiculous that people interfere and think its not right to spank a child. One or two swats in public is not excessive especially if the child was acting that bad. People over react these days over a little bit of discipline. Tell your sister not to worry about it though! Normally if there are no bruises, welts, marks, or anything broken then it isn’t considered excessive discipline. I hate how they make laws telling you how you can and can’t punish your child and how you can or can’t raise them i understand they are there to protect a the kids but to go so far as saying you can’t spank your kid in public if they are bad is wrong! My nephew threw something on the floor at a store and when my sister bent over to pick it up he kicked her in the face and she felt she couldn’t spank him because of it being in public.
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November 9th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
first of all they are not bad parents for doing that. they were actually doing what they needed to. what state do you live in. if she did call they will come over see that every thing is good and drop the case. they hardly ever just take the kids away. i have had cps called on me for false stuff some one got mad at me and said i starved my kid when they came they said wow we have never seen a kid so healthy. they dropped the case. so do not worry every thing will be ok. if you need to talk more email me•
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